Mirror Mirror On The Wall . . .

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“Mirror Mirror on the wall . . . who’s the fairest of them all.”

While we don’t often stand in front of a mirror and say this out loud, it’s a question I believe women ask themselves frequently. It often goes undetected.

Mirror Mirror

For many, mirrors are not a look glass of vanity but of dissatisfaction. This dull ache of dissatisfaction is not limited to hyper criticism of physical beauty, but also young women’s feelings of lack. I’m not good enough. I can’t do that. How will I ever? I wish I were more . . .

I hear this way too much. It is a sad epidemic because potential lays dormant, dreams untouched, and feelings of inadequacy leads to depression.

However the root of our discontentment can be as simple wrong thinking on replay! Believing a poorly written script about our lives works into a screen play. Cut!! Time for a re-write!

Who or what is your mirror? What have you allowed to be your measuring stick?  Is it what someone else says about you? What you see on T.V.? Music videos? What you read of facebook?

When you step back and consider what we use as mirrors to reflect back our identity and value – its frightening. Things that are made up of impostors, impersonations, and illusions of real life.

Who is defining you?

Johann Wolfgang says, "Behavior is the mirror in which everyone shows their image."
What does your speech and behavior tell you about what you feel and think about yourself?

Pit fall: Wrong Mirror

Lets get real, be real, and embrace what is real in our lives.  Trade in impostors for the real you.

WHO is the fairest of them all . . .

Looking at ourselves is something we make painful – that is supposed to be joyful.

I know something you and I do everyday. We quickly compare ourselves to someone around us. We examine their clothes, body, talent, or friends and directly measure ourselves against them to see how we fit.

 Women are masters at the art of comparison.

BUT – it’s a trap. It’s a sabotage. You are working against your self-esteem, confidence, joy and future!

This game of comparison is a trap because whether you feel “less than” someone else, or “better than” someone else – you are stuck in negative thinking.  This doesn’t do anything of value for anyone. In fact you will devalue yourself or the other person. The lie is that both of you can’t be of great value at the same time.

If you pause and think of how you feel when you compare yourself to someone you will see what I’m saying.

Comparison is a road that leads to judgment, criticism, anxiety, jealousy, loneliness, and depression. Even though comparison is something ingrained from our competitive culture, it can be linked to poor self-esteem, relationships breaking down, and dissatisfaction with our own lives. Comparison also leads to girl drama! [Who wants that?!]
 
[insert a 2015 study of 400 19 year old female facebook users found: all had staggering increase in envy, jealousy, linked to feelings of depression]

 Your value is not found in someone else. Nor can it be give by someone else. Its in you.

Pit Fall: Comparison

Truth: Only you have the power to change this. No one can do it for you.

Evil Queen take over - trying to be the Fairest of them all . . .

A while ago, I stopped by a clothing store simply because I felt there would be someone inside that needed encouragement. As I walked around, I heard the conversation of two teen girls.

It went like this:

Veering into the full length mirror the banter begins: “I just love how I look in these jeans. What size are you? Ya, you and I are the same size….double 00’s. Have you noticed Sarah lately? She’s dieting. She thinks that she can be our size. She’s so dreaming, she’s got such a fat (***).” Other girl, “Ya, it’s so flabby and flat. It’s too bad that everyone just wants to be ask sexy as us.” “Wanna-be’s.”

The conversation went on, and on! My jaw dropped as I felt like I was a fly on the wall in the live version of the movie, “Mean Girls.”

Your life mission is not to be the fairest – that’s not a real thing. But to see your God given beauty and value in you and celebrate beauty and value in others.

Pit Fall: Judgment

When culture, friends, media tell you to conform – the truth is you have a choice. You don’t have to, you can be true to you and true to God.

Do you guard your heart and mind? Do you make deliberate choices of what thoughts you entertain?

What is allowed to be rehearsed in your mind, will take up real estate in your heart, and flow out of your life.

Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts. Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust.
Proverbs 4:23-27

Don’t’ look in a mirror frosted with deception. Look for your reflection and value in all the right places.



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ABOUT TRUE U

There is only one you. Best to know the true you - right? To best unleash your potential and purpose you must know you, value you, invest in you, and love you. True U's school of self-image and relationships is here to cheer you on, with encouragement and inspiration. This blog is to highlight real life stories of overcoming life's obstacles. You are not alone.

Your journey is unique, your make up is unique, and your value is exponential. Each day is an opportunity to grow, learn, give, heal, and discover. Enjoy the journey.

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About Kristy

Kristy has a passion for seeing young women discover their purpose in life. There is nothing better than seeing people gain confidence and freedom to live a meaningful life. We were made for more than the prison of devalue, fear, or insecurity. Young women are unique gems, and their confidence and dreams often need to be mined - dig for your treasure! Kristy has worked with girls, and young women in a variety of contexts. She also holds an M.A in Professional Counseling.

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