Stay in your lane.
drive in the lane of your destiny - avoid emotional promiscuity

So, we have a problem. The message that everyone needs to be “a somebody.” It’s a problem. Like if you don't have a stage or desired social status you should be striving for those things. It’s a wrong angle on personal purpose and drive. Everyone has value, worth and purpose for their life – yes of course! However, authentically embracing self-worth can be exchanged for a counterfeit of celeb. It can be subtle. We can get caught up in the life of a friend, others self-advertisements on facebook, or someone at work who is getting the promotion or new house. Mis-placed desire sneaks in and we can begin to want their life or gifts instead of our own. Sadly, wrong pursuits lead to wrong destinations. We waste time and emotional energy while missing out on the richness of our own journey.


Your lane is worth driving in - yes it will have pot holes, stop lights, yield to on-coming traffic, and slow speed limits - but it will have green lights and good scenery too.

The pressure we are surrounded by to “be a somebody,” can cause an emotional promiscuity. What did you just say? Yep...the p word. I think it’s a fair description. Promiscuity is basically a wandering heart and unfaithfulness to the initial design or plan. When we wander temptation sets in to think someone else has it better, or has a talent we wish we had. But this temptation can lead to leaving our lane to drive in someone else’s.

It's the attitude towards living our own unique narrative that often determines whether we pursue the deep end of God's best for our own lives or the shallow end living in someone's else's.

Often unfulfilled longings or dissatisfaction with where we are at creates a space where we become vulnerable to a wandering heart that looks at other people’s lives in a covetous way. We want what they have. Or we want their highlight reel. (Yes, facebook usage is proven to heighten jealousy and depression). We want to live what they are living or gain the accolades we think they might receive.

Emotional promiscuity leads us to not being faithful to ourselves and God’s plan for our lives.  God in his wisdom laid it out plain in the commandments not to covet your neighbor. We were given guard rails for driving in our lane. Why? He knows what hurts us, and hurts others.

Here is another way to put it:

“When admiring other people's gardens, don't forget to tend to your own flowers.”
― Sanober Khan

Last year Jeff and I drove to Florida for a family vacation. Jeff is such a great navigator and long-haul driver.  However, I’d take the wheel when he needed a break to rest. It was then that I felt this stay in your lane post coming on. (Ya, took a year to get to writing it!) But when you are driving on fast highways in “big country” with rolling hills and lots of transports, you want to stay in your lane! I saw so many distracted drivers, lane hogs, and those that always want to be at the front of the pack –and in doing so would dangerously pass others traveling along.


I see the duelling dragons of competition and comparison taking people out of their lane – away from their destiny because they think someone else is getting ‘there’ faster, someone else's lane looks better. The problem is, eventually you get to a destination you weren’t mean to arrive at. Driving in someone else’s lane takes you on a detour and risks slamming them into the guard rails. This type of pursuit effects you and those around you. There isn’t a winning scenario. Results: side swipes and detours.

In life, only you can walk your path or drive in your own lane. One I believe God designs and directs. Its not always easy. But He promises us to lead and direct, so we should tune in. Learning how God leads and directs our own lives is much more of an adventure than driving in a lane never designed for you.

What is Joan of Arc decided she was to be a teacher because her friend was - would the french gain independence?

What if Mother Teresa decided to be a seamstress because that's what the guys really liked - instead of becoming a missionary to helping and feeding the poor?

Those are extra-ordinary examples: but what if you leave your lane empty? Who looses out? You and the sweet people along the way that need your unique way of shining in this world.

“Your life is a movie. You are the main character. You say your scripts and act to your lines. Of course you do your lines in each scene. There is a hidden camera and a director who you can ask for help anytime up above.” ― Diana Rose Morcilla

It is better to have a community perspective on our individual gifts. After all, gifts are meant to give right? They are for use for others. Now, let me clarify: I’m not to saying some of our paths or interests don’t look similar. Of course some of us share passions and similar purpose, jobs, callings. We share similarities as living breathing beings. We share more similarity wanting to live for God and share his love with others. But unhealthy things take root when we take our eyes off our lane and deliberately merge into someone else’s.

  
Questions to ask your heart: 
Do I have a sense of self-worth rooting in God's love?
Do I acknowledge the skills and gifts in my own life?
Do I celebrate others?
Do I spend time evaluating other people's lives with a sense of lack in my own?
Do I compare and compete in my heart a lot?
Have I cut into someone else's lane and am not driving in my own?

Work hard. Serve others. Trust God for your daily life.  Celebrate others.

Don’t be a carbon copy – be uniquely you.

Don't leave your lane empty. 
Stay in your lane.