DRIVING IN DARK NEEDS CLEAR LENSES: I’ve been having trouble driving
home in the dark lately. It’s the lights from other people’s cars shining so
bright in my eyes. For some reason my eyes can’t handle it and I get
disoriented. I even tried putting sunglasses on, but that was a bit too dark! It’s
a bit scary really, going down the highway and feeling like cars are on your
side of the road when opposing traffic comes towards me. Ever feel like that in life?
That’s like us in life too. We
need to be able to see clearly to keep driving down the road of life, traveling towards our goals and futures! However, sometimes we have
trouble seeing where we are going or because we need
new lenses.
When our lenses are distorted we can get disoriented in life.
A CAUSE: We all wear a set of lenses to
which we see the world, ourselves, and see the way others see us. These
can be very shaded depending on a lot of factors such as your upbringing, home town,
friend circle, genetic makeup, magazine preferences, and movie choices. These are all making up your life experience = lenses. These "lenses" often dictate how you feel about yourself.
Your self image is what you think about yourself, and your self esteem is how you feel about yourself.
THE EFFECT: When
we internalize or digest
negative messages into our inner worlds – our lenses get frosted and
even
faulty or distorted. It’s those distortions that can cause damage to our
confidence,
body image, self-worth, and value.
When these negative ways of viewing ourselves come about,
its
important to first recognize them, and then be able to challenge their reality
in your life. We have to be willing to be honest with ourselves, and
accept the potential that some of our thoughts and view of self - is
hurting our inner worlds. This in turn shades our view of self, others,
and clouds decision making. It also can contribute to depression and
anxiety.
REFOCUSING OUR LENSES: What are the chances that your
lenses need some re-focusing? Here’s a start to examining lackluster lenses:
1.
You don’t believe compliments
or encouragement from friends/family
2.
You are hyper
critical/judgmental of yourself or others
3.
You think that everyone else believes
the same negative views of yourself
4.
Mind reading: you must know
the negative thoughts people are thinking of you
5.
You're inner conversation
includes many negative statements and beliefs
about yourself that are unproven
6.
You emotionally overact to
situations (esp. family/social context)
7.
You are performance driven - if you aren’t preforming up to your standard your
worth decreases
(feelings of inadequacy)
8.
Unreasonable expectations of
loved ones to test their love and commitment
9.
Your actions are motivated by
fear of doing something wrong, or losing
friendships
10. You have feelings of unworthiness, perhaps feeling unlovable, or "not good
enough"
enough"
If these descriptions
describe how you've been thinking or feeling - you may want to consider
getting some support to work on self-esteem building! Examining your lenses often takes loving support of trusted
people in your life.
